Pains of the past
by cm4ever
Summary: In this story Elpehants memory takes on a different storyline. What if Morgan had been visiting his friends, during the time of the goalpost incident, and helped them? How can Morgan tell Reid? How will Reid react? Can their frienship be saved?
1. Chapter 1

**In this story Elpehants memory takes on a different storyline. What if Morgan had been visiting his friends, during the time of the goalpost incident, and helped them? How can Morgan tell Reid? How will Reid react? And mostly importantly, can their friendship be restored?**

**Not a one shot. will continue writing, if you want me to.**

**please review.**

* * *

Morgan felt his knuckles clench as Reid began to tell his story. He wanted to go out and punch every one of the fuckers who had ever messed with his little brother.

`Than they tied me to a goalpost..` Reid stopped talking for a minute, staring at Morgan`s expression.

There seemed to be a flash of guilt in his eyes, but was quickly wiped away for a stony expression. Reid took Morgan`s silence as telling him to continue.

`And everyone just stood there and watched`

`No one helped you` Morgan said quietly, it wasn`t a question, it was a statement.

Reid looked at Morgan strangely for a minute. How did he know that? Than he realized he was being paranoid, after all it would be pretty obvious in these situations, most people don`t get help, or give it.

`Eventually ever one left and I managed to untie myself, it was around midnight when I got home, my mom was having one of her episodes and didn`t realize I was gone` Reid finished.

`So you never told anyone?` Morgan asked.

Reid shook his head. Morgan realized how close the two of them had become, Morgan always had a protectivness and brotherly love over Reid, and Reid, he now knew, felt the same way. He would not have told this story to anyone else. Which is why Morgan wanted to punch himself right now. Reid trusted him, and he had betrayed him.

`Morgan, what`s wrong?` Reid asked, seeing pain in Morgan`s eyes.

`Kid,` Morgan sighed, he didn`t want to tell him this, but since Reid seemed to trust him so much, he needed to know the truth.

`You looked at me kinda weirdly for a minute when I had told you that no one had helped`

Reid nodded his head, getting a bad feeling.

`Well I know that, because...` Morgan trailed off.

`Because?` Reid asked, he did not like where this converstaion was going at all.

`I was there` Morgan finished.

_

* * *

_

Morgan was looking at his friend in shock. What he just suggested was incredibly mean, it could, would, scar the poor kid for life.

_`You shouldn`t do that` Morgan said quietly._

_`What did you say?` Demanded Andy, his so called friend._

_`Nothing` Morgan replied, backing down._

_He was big, but not big enough to take down the entire football team, which was what would happen if he didn`t play along. He already was different, he didn`t go to this school he was only visiting, and he didn`t need any enemies._

_`So the plan is set, and Morgan` Andy said grinning evily, `Will be the one to invite the kid down to the football feild` _

_Morgan didn`t argue, he felt sick about this whole thing, but like any teenager wanting to fit in, he would do what he was told to do, with no arguements. So walking down the hall to the library, he contemplated what he would say. He walked through the shelves of books, he had no idea what the kid`s name was or how he looked. All Andy said was that he would be the youngest person there. Morgan scouted until he saw someone who looked like he was 12 at most, but not knowing that he actually was 12, he just assumed the kid looked young for his age and that`s why people bullied him so much. Had he known the kid was only 12, he would have backed down, that was to much. As he sat down next to him, he cleared his throat. The kid looked up, he had big framed glasses and short hair, and looked like a nerd. No wonder why people bully him, Morgan thought._

_`Hey` Morgan said smiling._

_The kid glanced at him nervously, clearly wondering if the teenager infront of him was going to hurt him. Morgan winced inwardly as he realized what the kid was thinking, and how right the young man truly was. _

_`Alexa Lisbon` Morgan said, hoping he got the name right, but as he watched the kid`s eyes light up he saw that he had. `Want`s to meet you at the football feild` _

_Before Morgan could react, the kid had jumped up and raced out the door. Presumably to the football feild. Morgan sighed, he had just made the kid`s day a living hell. Pushing himself off the chair, he trudged slowly towards the feild, trying to prolong it as much as he could. But eventually he got there, and felt sick at the sight. The poor kid was tied to the goalpost,naked, crying and struggling against the ropes, while everyone surrounded him and laughed. Morgan wanted to help the kid, but he knew that he would only be tied up along with him if he tried. So he turned around and left, the next day going back to Chicago, never speaking to Andy again. Never telling anyone what had happened, what he had done, because he was ashamed. Not realizing until now that the kid did not look young for his age, he was young. Also realizing that he was right, the incidence had scarred the kid for life, still scarring the man standing infront of him._

* * *

Morgan opened his eyes. He had shut them while explaining the story because he did not want to see Reid`s expression, but he couldn`t keep putting it off. What he saw made his heart ache painfully. Reid looked incredibly hurt and betrayed, staring at Morgan with a shocked expression.

`Reid`Morgan said, grabbing his shoulder, trying to get across how sorry he was, and how much he cared about him with that single touch, but Reid pulled away.

Morgan flinched. Reid was shaking his head, his hazel eyes starting to fill up with tears.

`Figures` He finally muttered.

`What?` Morgan asked in confusion.

Reid`s answer made his heart break into a thousand peices, added more guilt onto the pile he already had.

`That`d I never actually have a true friend`

Morgan shook his head.

`kid I...` Before Morgan could finish, reid intruppted him.

`This is what always happens` He shouted in frustration, `I let people into my life and they always manage to hurt me!`

Before Morgan could react, Reid pushed himself up and raced out of the room, his thin frame shaking with sobs.

Morgan stared at the door for a long minute, letting a few tears slide down his own face, before he stood up, determination on his face. He would get his little brother to forgive him, no matter how long or hard it took.


	2. Chapter 2

**Omg I am soo sorry but I kind of screwed up. Looks like this story isn`t only gonna be 2 chapters, because I threw in another twist. One that I don`t know is gonna work so well. If not I just screwed up the story so sorry bout this. Anyway I tried. But if you don`t like, please tell me so I will stop writing. Because like i said, I kinda messed up.**

**Please review :)**

**warning:mild swearing**

* * *

Reid couldn`t stop the tears from coming as he heard what Morgan did. Morgan tried to comfort him, to grab his shoulder, but Reid pulled away. He didn`t want Morgan to help him, to comfort him now, 13 years after it happened. It was to late.

`figures` Reid finally muttered.

`What?` Morgan asked, confusion laced his voice.

`That I`d never actually have a true friend` Reid replied.

Reid watched as Morgan`s face twisted in pain and guilt.

`kid I...` Before Morgan could finish, reid intruppted him.

`This is what always happens` He shouted in frustration, `I let people into my life and they always manage to hurt me!`

Than Reid pushed himself up and raced out of the room. The tears came out faster, silently, but as he pounded down the stairs, he started to sob. He slowed down as he neared the door. He could hear thunder and hail pounding down on the sidewalk outside. _I could wait for Morgan to get a ride, _he thought to himself, but quickly dropped the idea. Morgan would want to talk about it, and Reid didn`t want to. So he pushed open the door and stepped out into the frigid weather. He instantly regretted it. The hail mingled with his tears as it whipped his face, wind roared around him, smashing into him, making him cold. How had it gotten so cold? It had to only be an hour that he was in there with Morgan. _I guess the weather is like people, _he thought bitterly to himself, _cruel and unpredictable. _Leaving those thoughts behind, he concentrated on walking, trying to get in the right direction of the police station. The wind pushed him around, confusing him, making him wonder which direction he came from, which direction he had to go. _It`s going to be a long night._

* * *

Morgan walked out of the room, determination written all over his face. He would get Reid to forgive him, and everything would go back to the way it was. He heard thunder rolling outside and gave a grim smile. At least Reid would have to wait for him to go back to the police station. After all Morgan did have the keys, and the weather outside was to much for anyone to walk in.

`Reid` Morgan called, as he walked down the stairs.

He got no answer, the house was silent. He kept calling, finally assuming that Reid was probably waiting by the car. Morgan shook his head, poor kid was going to be freezing. He raced out of the house and into the pouring rain. He noticed no one by the car. He hurried to the windows, and peered inside. The van was empty.

`Reid`he shouted. The howling wind and the pounding rain was the only noise he could hear. He shook his head, this time angrily. What the hell was Reid thinking? It`s pouring rain, he`s going to be sick! He unlocked the van and jumped inside, twisting the key and turning it on. He could hardly see past a metre through the pouring rain. He drove slowly, straining to see if he could see Reid anymore, but finally, after at least 10 minutes of frustration he gave up and drove to the station, hoping that Reid had gotten there safely.

* * *

Hotch`s anger at Reid`s previous outburst had somewhat subsided. He knew from personal experience that highschool was hard, but from what he had heard of Reid`s past, he knew it had been torture. Of course he would connect with anyone who had been bullied to the extent that Owen had. Hotch sighed, hating how many scars Reid had carried from his childhood to adulthood. Suddenly Morgan bursted into the room, water dripping from his clothes, phone pressed to his ear.

`Damn it Reid, pick up`he muttered angrily, pulling the phone from his ear, pounding some buttons and than pressing it back to his ear.

He did this for two more times before swearing and than throwing his phone against the wall. Hotch decided it was now time to intervene.

`Morgan what`s wrong?` Hotch demanded.

`Morgan looked at Hotch for the first time, frowning, as of just realizing someone else was in the room.

`Hotch did Reid come back?` Morgan asked, ignoring Hotch`s quesion.

`No`Hotch replied, worry starting to build up inside of him, `He`s supposed to be with you`

Morgan swore again, `No he walked back`

Hotch stared at Morgan in shock.

`You let him walk back in this weather?`

Morgan felt an immense anger towards himself. He wanted to punch himself.

Taking Morgan`s silence as a yes, Hotch asked a new question.

`Did you try calling him?`

`yea, but he shut his phone off`

Hotch sighed, shutting his eyes for a moment, trying to contain his anger.

`Why did he walk?` Hotch asked slowly.

`I don`t want to talk about that right now, I want to find Reid` Morgan replied.

Hotch gave him a look that said, I agree, but we will talk about this later. Morgan sighed, knowing it was not worth the arguement. Hotch called in the rest of the team and they quickly got into their SUV`s and raced off into the rainy night, searching for their missing team member.

As Morgan swerved through the twisting roads, trying to avoid cars that randomly popped up, he strained to see out the window, strained to see his little brother.

_Where the hell are you kid?_


	3. Chapter 3

**Because it`s Reid, who never gets a break, whether with us fanfiction people or the tv show, something had to happen to him. I`m sorry I kinda went off the storyline, but it will be Morgan/ Reid centric next chapter or so. Please review.**

* * *

It was Hotch and Prentiss who found Reid. And that was only because he phoned them. Had he not at all contacted them, they would have spent the night looking for him. Which is something the BAU family would definently do to find their youngest member.

`Hotchner` Hotch answered his ringing phone in agitation.

They had looked for Reid for over an hour, and still found no trace of him. Prentiss, who was sitting in the passengers seat, looked at Hotch hopefully. Maybe one of the other team members found him. Prentice watched as Hotch`s face turned from worried to full of relief.

`Reid, where are you?`

Reid coughed once or twice before answering.

`I`m, I`m at the hosp- hospital` Reid said slowly, breathing heavily.

`The hospital?` Hotch replied, worry filling his voice.

`Yea, but they won`t let me, let me go, until someone comes to get me` Reid replied, still breathing deeply.

`Reid, are you ok? Why are you so out of breath?`

`I`m fine Hotch, really, I just feel kind of, kinda, dizzy`

`Is that why you`re there?` Hotch asked in relief. He had thought something really bad happened. If Reid only had a cold, than the team would take care of him and he`d be better in no time.

`Ummm, not exacly` Reid replied, somewhat embarrased.

`what happened?` Hotch pressed.

`I couldn`t exacly see the car, or was it a van, maybe a truck?` Reid said in confusion.

`Reid` Hotch said, `Just tell me what happened`

`It was a truck, anyway, I crashed into it, or it crashed into me depending. In my defense, I thought I was on the sidewalk, but in the driver`s defense, I was going down a one way street, the wrong way`

`Are you ok?` Hotch demanded, concern and worry laced into his voice.

`Yea, except I broke my leg, and I have a horrible headache, but that`s probably just from hitting my head on the road`

Hotch spun the car around and, despite the weather, drove as fast as he could to the hospital. Prentiss stared at him.

`Is Reid ok?` she asked.

Hotch nodded before resuming his conversation.

`Reid if you have headaches, maybe you should stay overnight. Morgan would probably stay with..`

`Not Morgan` Reid said quickly, cutting Hotch off. `And i`m not staying overnight either`

Hotch frowned.

`Reid, is everything ok between you and Morgan`

`Of course`Reid said nonchantly, `I have to go though, I`ll meet you in the waiting room`

The phone clicked off. Hotch sighed, shaking his head. He wanted to know what was going on between the two of them, so he could help them fix it somehow. Morgan and Reid were best friends, brothers, and just one fight could wreck that. Hotch, and everybody else on the team, did not want that. Hotch phoned Rossi and JJ first, who had taken the second van. Morgan chose to ride by himself.

`Hello` JJ answered on the first ring.

`We found him` Hotch said.

He could hear JJ give a huge sigh of relief.

`Where was he, how is he?` She demanded.

`He`s at the hospital right now, we`re going to go pick him up, but you and Rossi go back to the hotel, we`ll meet you there`

Hotch didn`t want everyone crowding around Reid. He needed some alone time with him. JJ didn`t argue, though Hotch could tell she wanted to.

`Ok` she finally replied, `But hurry back`

Hotch phoned Morgan next.

`Did you find him` Morgan demanded.

`Yes but..`

`Where are you, I`m coming` Morgan intruppted.

`Morgan go back to the hotel, we`ll come there` Hotch replied, hanging up the phone.

Unlike JJ, Morgan would argue back, than no matter how much Hotch told him not to come, Morgan would show up. It was best if he didn`t know where Reid was right now. Pulling up infront of the hospital, Hotch turned to Prentiss.

`Wait here` He ordered.

Prentiss frowned at him.

`I want to help Reid`she replied.

`The best way for you to do that, is to let me talk to him alone` Hotch said.

Prentiss sighed, but nodded her head in agreement. Hotch pushed open his door and stepped into the horrible weather. The wind blew at him, pushed him from side to side, but he continued onward. Finally he stumbled into the hospital, finding instant relief from the storm raging outside. He walked to the waiting room and saw Reid, holding a pair of crutches, with his leg wrapped in a cast. Hotch sat beside him.

`What in God`s name were you thinking?` Hotch asked quietly.

Reid looked up at him, his hazel eyes full of sadness.

`That I didn`t want to be in the same van as Morgan` He replied.

`Why didn`t you call me or somebody else for a ride?`

`I didn`t want to bother you` Reid mumbled.

`Reid, if something concerns your safety, I do not consider it a bother at all. I would have driven right out to the house and pick you up` Hotch said honestly.

Reid smiled sadly. Hotch looked at him, and he felt all his anger at this stupid act melt away.

`Reid, what happened between you and Morgan?`

Reid shook his head.

`Nothing` He said defensivly.

`Reid..` Hotch as going to say something else, but than he saw Reid clutching his head.

`Reid, Whats wrong`

`Nothing, can we just go?` Reid asked quietly, his voice full of pain, both emotinal and physical.

Hotch nodded. He wanted Reid to stay overnight, to make sure he was ok, but it was Reid`s choice. If he said he was alright, than he was alright. Hotch checked out Reid, than Hotch helped support Reid as they walked through the frigid weather to the car. Once inside, Hotch blasted the heat, he hadn`t realized how wet Reid`s clothes were until he sat in the car and started dripping all over the seat. Reid sat in the back, shivering the whole ride. Hotch assumed it was because of the wet clothes. Prentiss gave Reid her jacket to keep him warm, and he smiled gratefully at her. When they finally got to the hotel, Reid`s clothes were relativly dry, and yet he continued to shake. Hotch pursed his lips but didn`t say anything, after all Reid did say he was ok. Hotch supported him again, while Prentiss carried his crutches, and they slowly walked towards the building. Once inside, the team surrounded them.

`Reid` JJ said happily, hugging him.

Rossi stepped forward and squeezed his shoulder. Morgan stood back, looking at Reid, hoping for some kind of indication that he might have forgiven him. Reid didn`t even look in his direction.

`what happened` Morgan asked, his voice full of guilt.

It was his fault Reid got hurt, and he didn`t know if he could ever forgive himself for that.

Still not looking at Morgan, Reid replied.

`Me and some truck had a little accident`

Suddenly he started coughing, violently. The shivering intensified, and when he was done coughing, he grabbed his head and moaned in pain.

`Reid` Morgan exclaimed, walking forward, grabbing him. Reid flinched away, he didn`t want Morgan`s help or comfort, ever.

`I`m fine`he replied, unconvincingly.

He stepped forward and, before the team could react, crumpled onto the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok this was supposed to be angsty Morgan and Reid friendship thingy, but some how,, I managed to go a little off plot and make him catch pneumonia (good guess) and break his leg so I am sorry about that. It will stay more on topic now, though now he will be sick, but it`s not like hospital sick, just sick, if that makes sense. And I get the feeling that i am dragging this out, so in the next chapter or so i`m probably gonna end it. Once again, sorry for going off topic. Also i`m sorry this chapter is so short.**

**Please reveiw.**

* * *

Morgan was first one to Reid.

`Hey kid, you ok` he asked gently.

`I`m not a kid` Reid snapped. `And i`m fine, just felt a little bit dizzy`

They could tell by his facial expression that he was in pain. Probably because he landed on his hurt stepped forward.

`Reid, i`m taking you to the hospital` It was an order.

Reid shook his head, `the roads will be closed`

Rossi looked outside.

`Reid`s right` He said simply.

`Morgan you`re sharing a bedroom with Reid right?` Hotch asked.

Morgan nodded.

`Take him there and just kind of watch him, if things get to bad, we will go to the hospital`

Morgan nodded again than gently grabbed Reid`s arm to support him. Reid pulled away.

`I can make it to the bedroom on my own` He tried to sound mad, but it ended up sounding weak.

Morgan nodded and backed off, handing Reid is crutches. He walked protectivly behind Reid, incase he fell.

The team watched as they slowly made their way to the elevator.

`What happened between them?` JJ asked, noticing the way Reid tried to increase the distance between him and Morgan.

`I don`t know`Hotch replied grimly. `But i`m hoping some time alone will solve it.`

* * *

Reid stumbled into the room and collapsed onto the bed. Morgan walked in and saw the Reid was shivering violently. He quickly walked to the bed and threw a blanket ontop of him. Reid mumbled something, but Morgan didn`t hear what it was. After a couple of seconds Reid stopped shaking, and Morgan felt like it was time to talk. Before Reid fell asleep.

`Spencer` Morgan said quietly, using Reid`s first name for the second time since he had met him.

`What` Reid mumbled.

`I`m so sorry for what I did, I don`t know if you can ever forgive me but..` He trailed off looking at Reid`s expression.

It was one of betrayel and hurt. Reid was shaking his head.

`I don`t know if I could forgive anyone for what happened` Reid answered slowly, his head pounding.

He felt like shit, but he needed to get years of hidden pain off his chest.

`The thing that happened, the thing that you helped do, was humilating, hurtful and I can`t seem to get over it. I know it happened 13 years ago, but everytime I remember it, it seems like it happened yesterday. I can still see everyone`s faces, sneering and laughing at me` Reid`s voice broke.

Morgan felt his heart clench painfully. He had hurt his little brother, horribly.

`You know what the worst thing is?` Reid asked bitterly.

`What?` Morgan asked quietly.

`You could have warned me, you didn`t even go to the school, you had nothing to lose, they wouldn`t have bullied you if you backed down, because you went back to Chicago the next day anyway.`

Morgan winced but didn`t argue. What the kid had just said was true. He could have backed down, warned him, but he didn`t, and he regretted it for entire life. It was right now, though, that he felt the most guilt and the most regret from it, because he had hurt someone that he really cared about.

`Kid I..`

`Just forget it` Reid interuppted.

He pulled the the blanket over himself and shut his eyes. He felt totally exausted. He was asleep with in minutes`

Morgan sighed as he saw his friend sleeping. He had tried to talk, but in the end Reid had done most of it. Morgan knew that Reid had needed to get this out into the open, if he wanted to heal at all from it, so he hadn`t said much. But tommorow he would be the one who talked, and even if he had to tie him down on the bed, Reid would listen.


	5. Chapter 5

**I was lying, this is also a very short chapter, sorry. It has to do with some issues that Reid has with Morgan, and the whole goalpsot incident. Thanks so much for reading and reveiwing. **

**Please reveiw.**

* * *

Reid woke up, shaking from the chills he felt, despite the thick blanket. His chest was cramping again and he had a major headache. He groaned from the pain. Morgan, who was sleeping in the other bed, rolled over and pushed himself into sitting position at the noise.

`Are you ok?` He mumbled sleepily.

`Yea` Reid replied shortly, still mad at him.

But the pain was to much to bear, so he moaned again.

`Reid` Morgan said in concern, more awake now, `What`s wrong?`

`It hurts` He whimpered. He was in to much pain to be mad at Morgan.

`Do you need anything? Medication or water or something?` Morgan asked.

`There`s some tylenol pills in the bathroom, can you grab them?` Reid asked weakly.

`Of course`Morgan replied, standing up and heading towards the bathroom.

He came back a few seconds later with a glass of water and some pills. He handed them to Reid, than put his palm gently on his forhead.

`Reid, your burning up` Morgan said in concern.

`I know, I have pneumonia` Reid replied quietly.

He popped the pills into his mouth and washed them down with the water. Morgan winced. It was all his fault the kid was sick. If he hadn`t been so stupid, made the wrong choice, Reid would be fine right now.

`Kid I`m sorry, this is my fault, all of it` Morgan said, his voice was full of guilt.

Reid didn`t agree or deny the fact, he just lay there and remained silent, thinking. After a couple of minutes, he finally spoke.

`No it`s my fault` He sighed. `I should have known Alexa would never go for a guy like me, you are the type of guy she would have gone for, athletic, good looking, I should have realized with you there, she never would have noticed me, not that she did anyway` He laughed bitterly.

Morgan stared at his friend in shock, after everything that had happened to him, after all that Morgan had helped put him through, he still managed to blame himself.

`Reid..` He was intruppted before he could finish what he was going to say.

`Even now, all the girls go after you. And what happens to me? I get hurt and kidnapped, while you just go and flirt with everygirl you see, sometimes it`s really hard to be your friend`

Morgan felt his heart clench painfully.

`Reid I am so sorry, for everything, but you sell yourself short way to much, girls notice you all the time, you just don`t realize it`

Reid shook his head sadly.

`Not with you around`

Morgan felt immense amounts of guilt and sadness pile up inside of him. He didn`t know if he had hurt his friend worse in highschool or now, everytime they hung out, everytime he flirted with a girl.

`Kid` Morgan started to say, `Why didn`t you just tell me I was hurting you?`

`Because, I didn`t want to be selfish, I didn`t want to be the reason your night was wrecked`

`I would have stopped right away`

`Just forget it` Reid replied.

`No, I will not forget it, you`re my little bro and I don`t want to hurt you`

`It`s all good` Reid replied.

Morgan looked at him, disbelief in his expression.

`It is, this is my fault and I`m sorry for being mad or rude to you` Reid said, tiredly.

`How the hell is this your fault` Morgan exploded.

He got no answer, because Reid, who had been exausted, fell asleep almost instantly. Morgan sighed, they had alot to talk about in the morning, because despite Reid`s insistance that it was all good, Morgan didn`t believe that it was.


	6. Chapter 6

**OMG I am soo sorry for the long wait! I got so caught up in my other stories, which is not an excuse so I am sorry. Thanks for waiting. Umm this is like one of the last chapters, than an epilogue, which I promise will be updated soon. Anywho,, this is mildly depressing, in my view,, because its kinda Reids feelings and pov on the whole goalpost thing,, so yaa,,**

**Warning: Mild swearing,, very,very,very, mild teenage theme,, also bullying which makes me want to hunt down these people and shoot their heads off,,, **

**please review :)**

**Also i used spellcheck and fixed the mistakes like 50 billion times,, ok like 5 but still,,, its not saving so I understand that there are a couple spelling mistakes so please excuse them**

* * *

It was only an hour later when Morgan was once again woken. Once again by noises from Reid. This time though, it wasn't pain filled moans that woke him, rather coughing. Coughs that sounded loud and painful, that seemed to rip from Reid's chest.

"Kid" Morgan said, pushing himself out of bed, "are you alright?"

Reid stared at him, traces of anger still in his face.

"Do I look alright?" He demanded.

His angry expression melted into pain as another cough ripped through him.

He groaned and pressed his hands against his head, a useless attempt to soothe the pounding ache that had appeared in his head.

He felt like shit, physically and emotionally. His whole body ached with pain and fatigue, and his chest sored every time he coughed. The anger at Morgan was slowly starting to fade, and a new emotion replaced it, guilt.

It was his fault that he had trusted teenage Morgan. He had always been severely bullied by Alexa Lisbon, and to think she might have randomly changed her mind about him was a huge improbability. And people who looked like Morgan, muscular and good looking, would not even talk to him unless it was to bully him, he knew that, he grew up learning that the hard way, but still he had trusted the teenager who had came to talk to him, the one he didn't know, the one with the kind eyes and the trusting smile. He sighed thinking back to that day, thinking back to of the worst days of his life.

_He was sitting in the library, one of his only refuges from the bullying. Sure in here they could whisper about him and laugh at him, but it was never to bad because the librarian walked around the whole time he was there in almost a protective manor. _

_She had grown fond of the little boy with the amazing intellect. He was also very polite and kind, and when she looked into his eyes she saw vulnerability. She saw the way people teased him, bullied him, physically throwing him around, always managing to get away with it. She couldn't protect him out there, but in here, in her second home, she would walk around and make sure people wouldn't get close enough to hurt him. When she saw the African American teenager walk in, one she didn't know, she immediately tensed as she saw him head for the boy. But as she watched him sit down gently as not to scare the boy, and the way he cleared his throat to get his attention instead of physically hurting him, she moved away, thinking that the teenager would not hurt the boy. If only she knew. _

_Reid looked up as he heard someone clear his throat. _

_He immediately tensed as he saw a teenager he didn't know, one that, if he had been standing, towered above him in height and muscle._

_"Hey" The teenager said, a gentle and trusting smile gracing his lips._

_Reid stared at him, waiting for him to insult him or threaten him. What he did not expect was the next thing the teenager said._

_"Alexa Lisbon wants to meet you at the football Field"_

_Reid felt hope blossom in his chest, and he couldn't help but let out a huge grin. Alexa, the cutest, most popular girl in school wanted to see him!_

_Before the teenager could say anything else, Reid had leapt out of the chair and raced towards the Field, happiness flowing through him. Maybe this was his reward for how crappy his life had, has, been. Maybe now things would start to look up._

_When he got to the feild he did not see Alexa, what he did see was the entire football team._

_Reid froze, fear paralizing him as he watched the whole football team desend upon him._

_As he struggled uselessly, they stripped him of his clothes, sneering and laughing at him the whole time, than pounded him against the goal post and tied him up._

_"Do you really think Alexa would go for you?" One asked, total disbelief in his voice._

_"Of course I wouldn't" A voice sneered._

_Reid felt his heart break._

_It was Alexa._

_"He has nothing going on that would remotely attract me to him"_

_"I think my puppy is bigger than you" Someone said cruely._

_That brought out laughter from the crowd that had gathered._

_Reid felt tears prick at his eyes._

_"Awwwww look the baby is crying" Someone shouted._

_"Are you crying for your mommy?" Alexa asked in a baby voice._

_"Why would you cry for her, that lady his mental!" One of the on lookers shouted._

_"She is not!" Reid exclaimed._

_"Don't talk back!" Snapped Andy, punching him in the face._

_Reid couldn't help the tears that flew down his face. The punch had hurt, and the fact the everyone just laughed made it ten times worse._

_He tried wiggling out, and one of his feet came free. _

_He kicked out again, and his foot, with absolutely no force, accidently tapped Alexa on the leg._

_"Don't touch me homo!" She exclaimed, slapping him across the face._

_Andy stepped forward and pulled Reid's leg back, with extra force that caused him to cry out, and retied it, tighter than last time. _

_After many hours, and many cruel jokes and comments that left Reid in tears, everyone left, and he managed to get himself untied. _

_When he got to his house, he raced inside and called out for his mom._

_"Mom where are you!" He shouted._

_He heard the tv blasting._

_He ran to the living room and found his mom watching tv._

_"Mom those kids bullied me again, I really need your help!"_

_Diana turned around and looked at 12 year old Spencer standing at the entrance, his face was bruising and covered in tears. _

_"Who are you?"_

Reid winced as he remembered how his mom didn't remember him. That was probably the hardest part of the whole night. He might have been able to deal with the bullying if he had someone to help him recover. But he didn't. Instead he had to bottle it up inside and help his sick mother.

Thinking back to it, he realized it wasn't fair, at all. His whole life wasn't fair. It was like a game he just couldn't win. He was very smart, and because of that he wasn't normal, he finally found a friend, and that friend had help cause one of the worst days of his childhood. Why couldn't he have just been able to leave the past in the past? Why did someone from his horrible past, someone who had helped cause one memory from that horrible past, even been aloud into his future? Did God or what ever was out there hate him that much?

Morgan noticed the way his friend's eyes glazed over, and he sighed as he realized Reid was remembering.

Remembering his bad and unfair past.

Morgan knew he would need comfort.

So he quickly walked to the bed and sat down next to Reid.

When Reid's eyes refocused, and a few tears slid down, Morgan quickly pulled him into a hug.

At first Reid tensed, but than he melted into it, needing the comfort he did not get years ago.

"I'm so sorry kid" Morgan whispered.

Reid looked into Morgan's eyes, saw the regret of his actions, saw the pain of hurting his best friend, and knew he was genuinely sorry.

"I forgive you"


	7. Chapter 7

**Ok so this is the last chapter. I would like to thank every person who reviewed,, heres the list,, pavarotti, lovedrreid, Liasonsupercouple, 68luvcarter, danicalif80, Gloria, lolyncut, SayidRocks, CherryBerryB, MaMoray, Ava, the-vampire-act, donttouch, stereo-typed, CMSP, Thera-Rocklynn, thanks so much :D also all the people who alerted and read the story thanks :) **

**I litteraly wrote this three times because it didn't save. Every copy was different and this is what I ended up with. The ending is abit weak, but I worked really hard on it because, you know its the last chapter, epilogue thingy,, i wanted it to be good.**

**Basicly they have the talk they didn't have yet,, and Reid forgives him, but can he forget?**

**Please review :)**

* * *

"Reid" Morgan called, jogging towards him.

Reid sighed, stopping at the first step of their private jet.

He had went ahead to the airport so he could be alone with his thoughts, apparently Morgan hadn't understood that.

"Yes?" He asked.

"I know you wanted to be alone, but we need to finish talking" Morgan replied.

Reid nodded.

He had been hoping for more time so he could figure out just what to say to Morgan, but maybe this was for the best. If he had planned out what to say, he might avoid saying things that needed to be said to help their friendship.

"Ok" He said, turning around and heading into the plane.

He hobbled up the steps on his crutches, and headed towards the back of the plane.

Morgan followed without saying anything.

He hovered behind Reid incase Reid fell.

He didn't want him to get more hurt than he already was. Physically anyway. Emotionally, he didn't know how to make the pain go away.

Reid sat down, pushing his crutches onto the floor beside him.

Morgan sat across from him, a gently smile gracing his lips.

"Hey" He said quietly.

Reid got a strange sense of deja vu.

But this time things were different.

The teenager was gone, and though his kind eyes still remained, they were hardened by the nightmares they faced everyday. He still towered over Reid in muscle, but didn't pose a physical threat to him, rather protected him. The teenager, who had been a stranger at one point, was now his best friend. He knew his intermost secrets the he didn't tell his own family.

Reid had also changed. He was still a nerd, and had an air of vulnerability about him, but, like Morgan, he was hardened by the things he saw. He wasn't as easily pushed around, and he sure as hell didn't take any crap from people. He had seen things that would make the strongest men tremble. He had been kidnapped and tortured and drugged, he had nearly been buried alive, hell he had died for a couple of minutes. He had been poisoned by anthrax, had been held at gunpoint multiple times. He had been belittled and kicked by his boss to fool an unsub. He had killed people. He wasn't that innocent little boy anymore.

"Reid when you went back to sleep, I thought about what you said, you said you forgive me" Morgan said.

Reid frowned, confused at the start of this conversation.

"Well ya I do" He replied.

"Yes but can you ever forget what I helped cause? Cause I sure as hell can't"

Reid frowned again, thinking.

He could forgive, but would he ever forget?

Forget the pain and sadness that his best friend had helped cause him all those years ago?

He didn't think he could. His amazing memory wouldn't let him. Images of his past, of all the bad things that happened to him still haunted him

So no he couldn't forget, he never would, but he also knew the man who had done this to him was a teenager at the time. He was stupid and easily peer pressured. The man he had turned into would never hurt him like this. He would never hesitate to say no, never hesitate to beat anyone who even suggested hurting Reid.

Which was how he was able to forgive him. People change. He believed in those two words, he had to or else he didn't think he could do his job, or believe in humanity anymore.

Morgan changed. Back than he was easily peer pressured, easily pushed around. He would do anything, stupid things, to remain on the popular side. Now though, he didn't give a shit. He would do stupid things like kick open doors and jump over rooftops, but that was to save lives, not impress people. He still overpowered Reid in muscle, but Reid didn't feel threatened in his presence like he used to, now his muscle was used to protect Reid instead of harming him.

So yes, Reid would never forget, but he could forgive. He knew Morgan cared alot about him, and he cared about Morgan, and this, though it was hurtful, was a one time occurrence, Morgan would never hurt Reid like that again.

Reid looked at Morgan.

"I forgive you, but I will never forget"

Morgan nodded sadly,

"I know"

"But" Reid continued, "I don't really think that question is even necessary. We all have an elephants memory when it comes to the bullying inflicted on us by our peers. Hell even you remember, and I doubt you were even bullied that much"

Morgan smiled at him.

"You'd be surprised"

"That just wrecked my point" Reid replied, smiling back.

"I'm sure you'll figure another one up in like two seconds" Morgan replied, "You are a genius after all"

"Just smarter than you" Reid smirked.

Morgan grinned, knowing Reid was just joking around.

"Show off" He replied, jumping up and ruffling Reid's hair.

Reid smiled.

He and Morgan did have some things to work out, but mostly they were fine.

Because well Reid did have an elephants memory of all the horrible things that happened to him, he also had one for all the good.

All times spent with Morgan, playing cards, slaps on the back, shared sorrows and happiness, the comfort they gave eachother.

And to him, the good outweighed the bad.

Because though Morgan did hurt him, he also loved him like a brother, would die for him, and Reid would do the same.

And to him, that's all that mattered.

************************************there is no love without forgiveness, and there is not forgiveness without love.************************************************************


End file.
